Well I keep waiting to put up a new journal, hoping I’ll have some good news, but that has yet to happen, so keeping it as brief as possible, which is still pretty long since it’s been about 10 months. While staying at hospice with mom I found out my spring archaeology classes had been canceled, but when I talked to the dean I was assured I could substitute other classes and still get my archaeology degree, since then I seem to react emotionally to anything involving problems with my classes, a councilor says it’s because I subconsciously link it to losing mom. After mom died I was a total wreck, barely slept or ate for over a month, more details in the description here dragon-star-empress.deviantart… planning mom’s memorial service was a nightmare as a couple of my aunts who had offered to help if we needed it decided to try to take over the whole thing and they and my sisters were practically at each other’s throats and not speaking by the time of the service.
After that it’s just seemed like this endless line of things going wrong with the college, not getting my overage money on time, being told I have to take classes then after paying for them finding out I didn’t have to take them, being told at the beginning of the summer semester that I couldn’t sit in on a math class that I’d already taken, but hadn’t finished because they had stuck us in front of computers and I don’t learn that way, so I wanted to sit in on the lecture part of the class over the summer while finishing the online class, but I was told by one person I couldn’t, then half way through the semester I was told by a tutor that I should sit in on it and that it wasn’t a problem, so now I’m sitting in on that math class this semester and will still have to take the next math class next semester, otherwise I could have graduated this semester. Then one of the bigger things to be thrown at me, I went in to talk to the dean who has been assuring me I could still get my archaeology degree since January. I asked her about what other classes I needed to substitute to get my degree and all of a sudden now she’s saying the only way I can get my archaeology degree is if I can pay out of my own pocket to go somewhere else to take field school and there’s no way I could afford that.
On top of all that I’m dealing with my mom’s stuff, she had a 15x15 foot shed, more than half full of stuff and my sisters don’t care and won’t help go through the stuff. They’re perfectly content to lay claim to anything of monetary value, but they won’t help sort any of the stuff, they just expect me to give them what they want after I find it. And I’m the one dealing with our aunts and uncle throwing a fit that our grandmother is paying for the shed, she was using half of it to store her stuff and when mom died she ended up having to pay for the whole thing because since the expenses of mom’s death I’ve barely had enough money to get by, my sisters on the other hand have somehow managed to afford extra stuff, one of them bought a $300 gaming system and the other bought a $400 purebred Dalmatian puppy, but couldn’t afford to send our grandmother any money at all to help with the shed.
Then when it comes to dividing mom’s stuff Sarah, the one with the dog had borrowed $800 from our mom before she died, I think that money should be paid back and divided evenly between the 3 of us, but I doubt that will ever happen. Sarah also wants mom’s tablet and digital camera. My other sister Dawn has already taken mom’s big flat screen tv, DVD player, $300 brand new musical keyboard and microwave. The only other thing of any value that mom had was a laptop computer, she had traded her old one to someone and Dawn had paid the difference of she says $300 as a birthday gift to mom. Since they’ve taken everything else of value, what Dawn paid for it was a gift, and my computer is literally falling apart, held together with tape and won’t get online anymore and I have homework that has to be done online and I can’t possibly afford a new one, plus I’ve put in countless hours dealing with sorting and taking care of our mom’s stuff and storing it, I’ve said I want to keep the computer. Both of my sisters threw a fit when I suggested that, Dawn insists that since she helped pay for it that she gets it, even though she already has a perfectly good computer and money to blow on gaming systems.
Does anyone know what the proper course of action is in this situation, I’ve looked and all I can find is that if a single parent dies with no will the kids get everything, but nothing says for sure what should be done in the case of a disagreement. I’ve had people tell me they think you’re supposed to have the stuff appraised and then divided evenly by value or that it’s to be sold and the money split between the children, but no one seems to know for sure. If one of those is right and I could tell my sisters that then I think they’d back off and drop it because they know they’re already taking the majority of the stuff that’s of value, so to fight about it anymore would only cost them. I just want to get my facts straight before it comes up again.
Last week I went up north for our grandparent’s 60th anniversary and after my uncle threatening to make grandma stop paying for the shed if we didn’t get it emptied, that pissed me off, grandma’s memory may not be perfect, but she’s still fully competent to make her own decisions, but I ended up spending the week to finish sorting the stuff in the shed. I had to do it alone, of course, Sarah had to stay home with her puppy and Dawn was too busy visiting friends and only staying for the weekend, so she couldn’t help at all. So I spent from first thing in the morning until 6 or 7 every evening going through mom’s stuff, having to decide what to keep and what to get rid of, knowing everything I kept would end up at my house because the girls can’t be bothered to sacrifice any of their space, granted they both share apartments with other people, but if it’s something they want they can make room for it. Perfect example, before Dawn left after the weekend I asked her if she could take a box of mom’s papers that was probably about a foot square until I had time to sort them, no she didn’t have room for those, but she could take the 4-5 foot by 2 foot keyboard that she wanted.
I don’t like being angry at my sisters, but every time I ask them to help go through mom’s stuff they’re too busy hanging out with friends or it’s just too depressing for them to go through the stuff with me, apparently they think it’s easier for me to just deal with it alone for some reason. Going through the stuff last week I’ve never felt so completely alone or resented my sisters so much for the way they treat me and now that I’m home it’s no better because I’m the one stuck with just a narrow path through my living room because there’s no where to put mom’s stuff until I finish going through it. I actually managed to get my sisters to come help unload a uhaul my grandmother and I paid for, but they only did that much after I told them if they wanted anything they had to get it that day because anything I didn’t want to keep was going to goodwill when the trailer was taken back.
The only thing that got me through last week was my cousin, she let me introduce her to Brave Police, so every evening, after a nightmarish day of going through mom’s stuff and usually sobbing my eyes over the tough decisions I was having to make alone, I got to watch Brave Police with her. Last week was probably the hardest week of days in my life other then the weeks surrounding my mom’s death, but at the same time it was one of the best weeks of evenings I’ve had in a long long time. We had so much fun and get along so well and I totally got her hooked on Brave Police. I love knowing I’ve introduced people to the show online, but it was just so awesome actually doing it in person and watching her get more and more into it and then we finished the last few episodes the last night I was there and stayed up until after 2am talking about it and about fanfic ideas. If it weren’t for that I don’t know that I would have made it through sorting mom’s stuff, I probably would have broken down completely to that point of not being able to function that I was in right after mom died, I was really close to that point the last couple of days, unable to sleep because of being so depressed and all that kept me going was telling myself at least I’d get a break for fun as soon as my cousin called to say I could come over and we could watch Brave Police. Now that I’m home I really miss hanging out with her, but luckily now that I can wrap Kagerou’s arms around me at night I’m sleeping again, the travel sized version of him just doesn’t work when I need someone to hold me.
Now I just have to catch up on my homework from last week and figure out how to edit Shadows so it’s appropriate for my 14 year old cousin to read. Then again I probably read stuff like that for the first time when I was her age, of course that was an accident and only because someone hadn’t rated their fanfiction right. It’s not like it mentally scarred me or ………… glances at recent instant messaging with okay, yeah maybe I should edit it before I let my cousin read it, otherwise my aunt my eventually kill me.